Let's get this thread to a million pages!

[Mia]

As it turned out, they didn't have any eggs. That wasn't very eggcellent.

[Mia]

Then I remembered, oh crap! I am late for my shift at UPS!

[Mia]

I hopped in my truck to make my first UPS delivery, but I heard a gunshot!!! I freaked out!

[Mia]

That's when I decided, this job isn't worth getting shot at, so I quit.

[Mia]

I decided right then and there, that I would start my career as a singer.

[Mia]

The problem was, I wasn't any good. I managed to get a gig at a local theater.

[Mia]

But I was terrified of ghosts and hecklers. That's when I heard "BOO!" and "YOU SUCK!"

[Mia]

Just my luck, the two things I was terrified of just happened to be in the same theater.

[Mia]

That's when I decided to go to Arby's and complain about the food.

[Mia]

I didn't go there to eat anything, I just wanted Arby's to know that their food was bad.

[Mia]

Then I went to Olive Garden, and I was outraged at their menu!

[Mia]

There weren't any olives on their menu anywhere!!! What a ripoff!

[Mia]

So I turned into a Karen and complained to to the boss.

[Mia]

But the boss was actually the final boss from Ghost 'n Goblins.

[Mia]

That's when I slipped on the floor and threatened to sue.

[Mia]

And the final boss said "Wait, don't sue! I'll give you unlimited breadsticks with the purchase of a meal!"

[Mia]

And you know me, how could I resist such a tantalizing offer?

[Mia]

That's when I bought a spaghetti with marinara, and started chowing down on breadsticks.

[Mia]

The breadsticks were good, I probably ate two dozen of them.

[Mia]

Then on their TV, I noticed something: It was an episode of Who Wants to be a Millionaire.